[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, June 15th, 2006|
This morning it hit me. The bitterness has washed away. So has the feeling I once had. A feeling that there was a chance we could be saved, we could return to something that we once had. I have lost all hope, hit rock bottom, with nowhere to go but up. Stillwater, Paris and the Dollar Inn seem so far away now, another lifetime ago. The part of me that longed to return to that time has died. What we once had has become a distant memory. As bad as the pain might be, I am so lucky to have loved someone this much. See that is the thing about memories, that can be whatever you want them to be. You and I will forever remain perfect in my heart and soul.
|Monday, September 12th, 2005|
Wake me up when september ends. October can hurry up and get over too.
Would you whisper in my ear, the things you want to feel. I'll give you anything
to feel it coming.
I love you, I really do.
|Tuesday, September 6th, 2005|
|Back to school
It is currently 4pm here in Farmington Hills, Michigan, and at the moment, I am not busy. But in a few minutes the students and faculty will start to arrive, meaning all hell will break lose. Believe it or not, I have really did bust my ass last week in order to getthis place ready for the first day, so I think we are ready, and hopefully things will go smooth. Speaking of first days, so begins my first full sememster stateside since last fall. Had one class this morning, principals of microeconomics, which also happens to be the only undergraduate I still have to take. Meaning, out of 45 students, 37 were freshmen. Which in turn means that today was spend answer freshmen questions, such as "where is the library?", and "how much homework are we going to have?" It was at this point that I wanted to jump out the window. Oh well, no one to blame for this but myself. Anyway, right now I just want to go home and crawl back into bed, preferable not alone. But instead, I will sit at my desk, sip my coffee, and wait for the rush. Current Mood: nervous
|Thursday, August 25th, 2005|
So I noticed that it has almost been two weeks since I have written anything here. Frankly, I really haven't had the desire to do any writing lately. It has also been a week since i swore off livejournal forever, but as you can see, I am nothing but a livejournal whore. Hell, I need something to pass the time while I am at work. I just had an interesting conversation with my coworker. I asked her if it was strange that I am already anticipating spring break. She stared at me for a few moments, then replied, "Yes, yes it is." At this point, I laughed out loud for real. My mind seems to be drifting all over the place this morning. I have gone from thinking about spring break in New Orleans, to wondering what to get for lunch today. Anyway, things have been going well for me this week, mainly because I have recieved a great deal of extra money, which will be nice, I have some expenses on the horizon within the next year or so. However, I am sure once I go and buy my four books tommorrow, that my monetary gains will go right down the toliet. School starts back up in about 10 days. This has been the longest break, 2 months, that I have had since my junior year of high school, so I am sure I am in for a shock. However, there is one thing that I always have on my side, something that I can think about and instantly feel better. That is you and your love. Thank you for always being there and know that I will always be here for you. I love you.
-steve Current Mood: loved
|Friday, August 12th, 2005|
|Back Here Again
I am very proud of myself, I have yet to fall asleep at my desk, which is amazing, all things considered. I have nothing really substantial to say here today, maybe that is because I am running on very little sleep. All I really want to say is that, this week reaffirmed alot of things for me. I know now that I really really am the luckiest man on the planet, and I miss you so much. I love you with all my heart. Current Mood: sleepy
|Sunday, August 7th, 2005|
Shitty saturday, and I haven't even been to work yet. Please just hurry up and get through these next two days. Current Mood: gloomy
|Friday, July 22nd, 2005|
|Bored, and trying to keep myself awake at work
Currently 9:40am here at the office, and I am really bored, so I decided to answer some random questions, most of which I stole off this random survey I recieved in my email this morning, some I just made up.
When was the last time you cried?
Have you been drunk?
-You mean today, or ever?
Have you ever tried drugs?
-No, but I have smoked weed.
Have you ever had phone-sex?
-Don't knock it till you try it.
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?
-"You are bound to end up miserable Steve."
Do you think you're attractive?
-When I match.
Have you ever broken a bone?
-Yes, directly because of a woman no less.
If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go?
-Last week of April, 2005.
-What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
-Been herself and loved me.
Do you have a collection of anything?
-Baseball cards and shot glasses.
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?
-I don't think I would recognize him.
Have you ever skipped school?
-Haha, do you want a number or something?
How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
- Husband, father, provider
What are you afraid of?
- dying alone
What is your name spelled backwards?
- Yak Nevets
How many kids do you want?
- One boy, one audrey, (possibly an extra boy, just so i have a small army to protect audrey)
Coke or diet coke?
- Diet everything
- Good question, so many choices, but I think I am going to stick with Atilla the Hun.
Ever read Harry Potter?
- Hell no, I don't believe in wizards.
Do you know where you want to be in five years?
-Land of 10,000 lakes
How would you describe yourself?
-Confident and level-headed
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
-Miss Ashleigh of course.
Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?
-See above answer.
If you could only see one person for the rest of your life, who would it be?
-Well at least these questions are getting easier, all I have to keep saying is see above answer.
At this point I must end my bizzare, random questions and try and get back to work. Today will be a long day, but I will always be able to smile when I sit back and think about something you said last night. Current Mood: rejuvenated
|Wednesday, July 13th, 2005|
|A day to relax and reflect
After three days of chaos I finally had a day to rest. Didnt go to sleep until 5am this morning, woke up at 8 to let Rudy out, then went back to bed until 1. Went over to my great uncle's shortly after that, to check the place and do some yard work. One of his gutters was loose, so I climbed on the roof and worked on that. Then trimmed some hedges, and watered the grass, since we haven't see rain in who knows when. After that I stopped at Panera bread for dinner. Came home, walked rudy briefly, then watched a movie and worked on my scrapbook. By this time it was ten. Came online to see if any of my friends wanted to do something. But I remembered, my friends work at 6am, and go to sleep at 10. So I watched sex and the city, did some thinking and a little writing. I realized one thing today. That as much I enjoyed being alone today, having peace and quite, that just is not me. I am actually looking forward to my parents coming home, lol. Everyone needs there space, myself included, but I like being with people, and I guess my overriding thought at the moment is loneliness. I hate that feeling, and tonight, one of the things wrote was a list of my fears, and the first one on the list was, "dying alone". I don't need that. Current Mood: contemplative
|Friday, July 8th, 2005|
|Its Been Awhile
Well this is my 2nd post into the wild wild world of livejournal. I am having trouble loading up my picture, but maybe I can resolve that one of these days. Anyway, since I last posted, I have dropped the TEEN from my age. I'm twenty, which sounds so old/mature. So why do I feel trapped, like I am still 16. I want to be responsible for my own life, my own mistakes. I by no means think I have all the answers to life, but I do know what I want out of this crazy thing called life. So what else matters. I guess I just have to be patience, and know that everything I want will be there for me, in time. OK!!! Enough complaining, just feeling a little restless after spending three days at my grandparents, stuck inside because of the rain. But I am back home now, my parents and sister are still in south carolina, and wont return until sometime next weekend. So it is just me and rudy at the homestead. I am keeping myself busy with work, work and more work. Tommmorow is my lone day off in two weeks, so I plan on taking advantage of that. Walking rudy and roller blading at the beach seem to be in order. Also I want to start working on my european scrapbook. I have been putting that off, for a number of different reasons, mainly because I feared I would get as I call it, "francesick". But its been two months now, and I think I can look back and not be as bitter that I am stuck here in Detroit. All star game events start sunday and run through the actual game on Tuesday, so those are going to be some long days, but hopefully I will get a good section and rack in the tips. I honestly think if things go well, I will make enough money in those three days to pay for my whole minnesota trip. I mean, I gotta take my girl out for a classy meal. Anyway I am at work, and my other girlfriend, the Richon copier, requires my assistance.
Steve Current Mood: restless
|Monday, June 27th, 2005|
|My First Entry in to the World of Live Journal
Well, this is my first entry into my online journal. i have never kept a journal, nor do I know how long I will actually stick to writing, I guess we shall see. I have now almost been back in the states 2 months, and I think my european hangover is over. I cannot even begin to address all the many ways I have changed since I have returned. My birthday is 6 days away. My teenage years are nearly over. I had a good run, a very good run. Had my fair share of sex, drugs and rock n' roll. I feel like I am at a crossroads, and I guess I am. I think I know where I am going, what I want, whom I want to get there with, ect.. Tommorow morning is my economics final, cannot wait untill that shit is over. Currently ranked 2nd in the class, yeah it is really hard being this smart, lol. i have tommorow off, then I am working the next 5 days, including sunday,(my birthday). Jaclyn and I will be going up north to see my grandparents, most likely sunday night, after she gets off work. Hopefully the weather will be nice, and I can work on my tan, and get some well deserved rest. My parents will also be up there for a day or two, then they are going to north carolina for 10 days, which leaves the house to Rudy and I. Unfortunately, you can rule out any wild parties, I will most likely be working every day while they are gone, oh well. Otherwise, life is pretty damn close to perfect right now. Got good friends, family, a good girl that I love, food on my plate, and the weather is nice. That's just good old optimistic steve........... Current Mood: horny